When my boyfriend proposed just 6 months after cutting my hair to my ears, I was in panic mode.
I had been a long-haired girly for my entire life! At 23 years old, this was my first time getting a haircut that short. Granted, it was cute. But I wasn’t sure I wanted to get married with my hair looking nothing like what it had my entire life. Thankfully, I had already started my natural-hair journey (no more pink or blue for me, arg) so that I could look back at my wedding photos and not regret getting those 90’s striped highlights – you know what I’m talking about. And if you don’t, go look in your mother’s photo album.
So, I had 9 months from September 2023 to June of 2024 to grow my hair as much as humanly possible. Now, am I going to tell you I turned into rapunzel and grew my length by 12 inches in 9 months? Heck no. However, with my natural/genetic hair growth being 1-2 inches a year, I was happy to double that!
I’m going to share each tip that I followed to grow my hair, the pros, cons, and in general if I felt that these implementations made a difference with my hair growth. Since I tried 6+ (these are just the ones I stuck with) there’s no way to tell if there’s one single change that grew my hair the most. This is all just going off of my, well, ~feelings~.
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6. Biotin (lowest effect)
You may be surprised to hear that of all six methods of hair growth that I tried, taking biotin pills had the smallest effect on my hair
The reason why I can confidently say that biotin had the smallest effect on my hair is because I had tried this method twice before my 2023 hair growth journey. No matter how regular I was with sticking those dang pills beneath my tongue, I never noticed a drastic increase in hair growth
Ironically, I notice my fingernails grow the most while taking biotin!
5. Cool rinse after showering
Unfortunately, I can’t remember where I heard this tip. However since looking deeper into hair studies, this is a highly argued tip
The method is this: after taking a shower, just before getting out you rinse your hair with cool or cold water. The idea is that your pores will shrink back up, especially after they’ve opened with warm water, preventing your hair from falling out as easily after showering
I had been practicing cool rinses after my showers for years, not just since getting engaged. I can say over these years, despite the controversy, I have noticed a difference in not only how much hair loss I have, but I feel my hair has strengthened as a whole
However, this is my second-lowest pick for what affected my hair-growth journey. It doesn’t hurt to try, but don’t expect infinite hair growth from this tip
4. Oil treatments
The fourth highest trick I used during my hair growth journey was regular oil treatments
There’s many articles and influencers that swear by rosemary oil for hair growth, and it’s pretty high up on my list so I wouldn’t deny that this helped my hair growth. However, I’m not sure that I would put it as my utmost top-pick either
3. Shower routine
My third highest-ranked for which hair tip most-affected my hair growth would be my shower routine
By adding these 3 steps to my shower routine, I could literally feel my hair change
By making these three adjustments with every shower you do, you will notice in 3 weeks or less a change in your hair
2. Night cap
The second most top tip that I feel led to more hair growth was wearing a Silk Night Cap each night
A full guide and explanation behind the benefits of wearing a night cap can be seen right here (on my first blog post ever!!)
I could go on and on about night caps, sometimes called “sleep caps,” for hours. I mean it when I tell you that wearing this hair net-looking bonnet that this thing CHANGED my hair
The biggest win that a night cap brings to the table is it prevents breakage
The less breakage you have in your length, the more length left to continue growing!
1. Scalps massager
Unfortunately, I discovered my number one difference-maker with my hair growth way too late
Of all 6 tips, once I started regularly massaging my scalp I really started to notice a difference in my hair growth
I would take this scalp massager and rub the bristles all over my scalp, making sure to hit each area of my head for 10-30 seconds
This, combined with the 5 tips above, will lead you to the most hair growth you can dream of. I sure know it helped mine!
Now, there is one step I did not include in the 6 above….
CONSISTENCY
That’s right, you can’t do each of these tips once or twice and expect results. You must make a concerted effort to do a scalp massage each day, wear a silk night cap each night, shower with the 3 added steps, regular (once a week at least) oil treatments, and take biotin daily. Despite my almost-regular (we all have cheat days, right?) routine, my hair growth over the course of 12 months was only about 4 inches.
Help me decide which hair-growth tips to try next! What tips and tricks do you have for hair growth? Leave your ideas in the comments.
March, 2023. I’ve got a full time job, a boyfriend, and despite my lovely, stable life, I wanted a change. I noticed the bleach in my hair was getting harder and harder to hide that it was from 3 years ago. I basically had a line of bleach from my ears, down. So, I decided to chop it off!
Okay, I didn’t go as sort as the image above. The actual length was just below my ears. However, this was the shortest my hair had ever been, and the first time I had 100% natural, dye & bleach-free hair in 8 years! Then, as the universe tends to have a sense of humor, my boyfriend proposes just 6 months later.
Don’t get me wrong, the last thing on my mind when he got on one knee was my hair. However, as I tried on wedding dresses and looked at hairstyles, I couldn’t help but wish I had kept my long hair. There’s so much more you can do with it! Braids, bubble pony tails, long lucious curls… you get what I mean.
“But Paige, why didn’t you just get hair extensions?”
Because, I had been on an “all-natural” hair journey for about 2 years, and I was not about to give that up. Hair extensions can be SO damaging to your hair, and I wasn’t willing to take that risk. So, my journey for all-natural hair turned into another journey: Hair Growth. And fast!
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3 Rituals I practiced during my showers for FAST hair growth:
Cold Rinse
It’s pretty self-explanatory, once you finish your shower you do either a cool or cold rinse, making sure to get your scalp especially cooled off
The idea behind the cool rinse is that your pores will shrink, and less hair loss will take place
There’s lots of controversy if this tip is legitimate or not, but I choose to stick with it because I noticed a difference in both my hair growth, and hair loss
I know, sounds kind of weird, right? Why would I wash with the same product twice?
That was my mindset when my friend, who has the fastest hair growth of anyone I know by the way…I digress… told me to shampoo my scalp twice. What??
But, she was right! Try it, trust me
The first wash loosens the oils and grime, then you rinse
The next wash actually removes the oil and grime, and you’ll notice that you actually get so many more suds than the first shampoo
Another benefit to shampooing twice is the added scalp massaging that’s going on. It’s proven that scalp massage & bringing blood flow to those follicle’s helps the hair grow. I use this scalp massager made for wet hair
Give your scalp a good massage for 3-4 minutes for each shampoo to get that blood flowing!
That’s right, your hair will never grow longer if your lengths aren’t strong enough to withstand the growth
So, using a good hair mask that prevents breakage is going to be your best bet
My husband and I (yes, he has long-lucious locks. You can check our bridal picture out in the “Contact” page) have tried 10+ different brands of hair masks, and this one takes the cake!
I could tell the difference in my hair health after just ONE time using this stuff
Softness – so-long to the days of tangled hair! Truly, it’s a dream I’ve had since childhood
Shine – in both my husband and I’s hair, there is a noticeable shine that’s taken place after using this hair mask
Strength/Thickness – now, I know the thickness of the strands of your hair is genetic, so maybe my genes allow for more change. However, it’s always worth a shot to try something that may just revolutionize your hair! Right? With the drastic increase in the strength of my hair after using this hair mask with every shower I had, (about twice a week) I couldn’t wait to share it with you
Well, as you can see the steps to fast hair growth are easy as 1, 2, 3 (queue The Jackson 5). Start with a good shampoo, rinse, then shampoo again and rinse. Next, throw that hair mask in. Did you know that you’re supposed to use hair masks AFTER shampooing? I didn’t either! Turns out the natural oils in our hair repel the hair mask if you don’t shampoo first. After letting the mask sit for 5-10 minutes, do a cool rinse and make sure to really soak your scalp to get those follicles nice and closed back up.
Have you ever sat back and wondered, “how does Sally feel so confident in her relationship? Doesn’t she get jealous sometimes?” Or, how about, “I can’t believe Johnny made a relationship last 6 years! I can barely get through 6 months…” And then there’s, “not sure how everyone keeps getting put in these unfortunate circumstances with their partner, I am SO happy with Alyssa.”
Well, there’s an explanation for all of the above thoughts and feelings. They’re called Attachment Styes, or also known as Attachment Types. There are three different types of attachment styles, each ready and able to explain why YOU feel the way that YOU do.
Technically, there’s two groups of attachment styles. Secure, and Insecure. However, within the “insecure” group there’s two different types; Anxious and Avoidant attachment styles.
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Anxious Insecure
Anxiously insecure attachment style is best described as someone who does not trust the world, their partner, and sometimes themselves. This person may consistently question their partner’s love for them, get jealous easily, rely on their partner for their own happiness, and become distant from their outside relationships to dedicate all time to their partner. The anxiously attached partner needs validation consistently, and without that validation can feel that their partner is distant, or potentially cheating on them.
Side-note: My Anxiously Attached Personal Story
I, personally, am an anxiously attached person. I think I broke up with my first boyfriend like, 5 times in a year and a half (you know who you are…). My second boyfriend was also a year and a half relationship, and I was relying on him for my happiness. When we broke up, it felt like my entire world was falling apart and like I had nothing else to live for. Sadly, this misconception is a common spiral that anxiously attached folks get caught in.
My third partner was great, everything I could ever ask for. He was handsome, attentive, and faithful. However, it was my actions of being clingy and, despite his loyalty, questioning if he was talking to other women that brought our relationship to an end.
After these 3 boyfriends in high school, and a few unsuccessful flings in college, I decided to take a hiatus from MEN. That’s right, I’m off limits boys!
I decided to focus on myself, I went on girls only trips throughout that summer and talk about topics other than boys, and yes that was hard. Men had been the entire focus of my life!
However, I made it through. I learned how to be alone in my thoughts, and love me for WHO I AM and not for how other people saw me. I decided that if someone decided to cheat on me or leave me, that was their loss. So, I got back into dating and started dating a college football player. A dream, right? Well, after two short months he dumped me and I couldn’t believe that I had done all of this self-work for nothing! Granted, he was a freshman in college and I had just graduated a few months earlier.
That same day, I met Don. Now, that’s a Nicholas Sparks-worthy story for another time. However, he showed me that it takes two people who are ready for a relationship and have worked through their attachment styles in order to make a relationship work. *queue Ever Ever After by Carrie Underwood.*
Avoidant Insecure
Avoidantly (I guess that is a word now?) attached people struggle with physical and emotional intimacy. These are the folks that you almost question if they even love you because they hardly give you enough attention to hold on to the relationship. To them, this is their comfort zone. They’re ok with keeping you at an arms distance because vulnerability is a scary place for them. They may respond to your texts with large delays, not recognize your emotions, not relate to your situation, and avoid conflict at all costs by instead “letting things go.” Those who are anxiously attached do well in long-distance relationships or with individuals who do not require a lot of attention in a relationship.
Now for everyone’s goal, to be securely attached. Those who are securely attached grew up trusting the world. They don’t have to question if their spouse or partner is cheating on them because that’s not the logical or trustworthy thing to do. They trust that they are a good catch themselves and that, if heaven forbid their partner did hurt them, they could leave and find someone new. Now, does that mean that securely attached individuals are heartless and don’t care if their partner leaves them? No! The opposite in fact. These people learn to love their partner for who they are instead of what their partner does for them.
It’s been said that the only way to overcome your Insecure attachment style is to partner with someone who is in a Secure attachment styles. Although I completely believe, and have experienced, this method, I believe there are additional steps you can take to take control over your style, in or out of a relationship.
Overcoming my Anxious attachment style
My #1 suggestion for those who have an anxious attachment style is for them to grow in their self confidence. Grow to love yourself so that no one will affect your self-image. This was my top method for “overcoming” my anxious attachment style. Now, why did I put “overcoming” in quotation marks? Well, because the harsh reality is that your attachment style never really leaves you. It’s engrained in you since birth (link) and therefore takes many, many years to “overcome.”
You can also start to ask for validation. You will realize that people actually do love you, and you don’t have to earn anyone’s kindness. That kindness and concern also doesn’t define your worth. Think of the person you hate most, do you care that they don’t like you? Probably not. Hopefully not! So, if others dislike you, why does it matter? It’s your life for heavens sakes!
Communicate your needs clearly. It’s ok to accept that you will need more attention and affection in your current or future relationships. So, set the stage early so that your new partner, friendship, etc. is set up for success.
The first step to overcoming your Avoidant Insecure attachment style is to acknowledge your fear of emotional intimacy. Just like anything, you must first admit your fault before you can attack it. So, now that you’ve come to terms that you are, in fact, avoidantly attached you can start to work through and out of that style.
Next, start to practice intimacy and vulnerability a little at a time. Share personal details with those close to you, and recognize how you feel when you do it. Allow yourself to feel that distaste, but try to fight it while you share some of your secrets or deep emotions with those you trust, or, who you should trust.
If you’re the type of person that likes to do things on your own, open up and ask for help. This, for some people, goes much deeper than just asking for help. You might feel like you are admitting your weaknesses, when really this is you admitting your avoidant weakness and trying to overcome it.
Finally, start to open your mind to the idea that dependence is OKAY. It doesn’t make you weak to rely on someone or ask for their help. You can have a bad day and someone can comfort you, or admit your weaknesses to someone close to you, and neither would affect your worth.
I hope these tips helped you! Remember, overcoming your attachment style that’s been in place since birth (more on that in another post soon) will need to be taken one day at a time.
